I’m pretty sure that some of the visitors to my shop come in, take a look around and think to themselves “I could do that!” Well here are some pretty convincing reasons for you to trust me to do the job instead!!
1) Look at my clothes! They are totally covered in paint – and I like to think I’m a pretty neat painter! Granted, I have been using the same boots and gilet for a couple of years, but my jeans and T-shirts get rotated on a regular basis! You may think a pinny will be sufficient to protect your skinny jeans, but that paint has a way of finding somewhere unwanted to splat itself upon.
2) Look at my hands! Do you treat yourself to a lovely manicure? Do you have beautiful soft skin? Now compare your hands to mine….. short, unpainted nails, rough skin, a couple of war wounds from using scissors to get the lid of a rusty can of paint (really bad idea by the way), and paint of all colours all over them!!!
3) Look at my workshop! At the back of my shop I have a couple more rooms to work in. I have the rainbow room where I do mostly clean jobs like sewing and upholstery, or small jobs like the personalised paintings and door hangers. This room also doubles up as the crafty party venue. Next to this room is the messy workshop where I sand and paint the big pieces of furniture, and mix up the paint colours. The floors of both of these rooms are both pretty paint splattered. Do you really want your dining room / conservatory / kitchen floor looking like that!?
4) Look at my yard! Maybe you think that one day you’ll lug that ugly old wardrobe out on to the patio and paint it there… Trust me; I thought the same thing when I took over the shop a year ago. ‘Ooh’ I thought ‘a handy yard for me to paint in when it’s nice outside!’ The trouble is that the weather conditions are never quite right – too hot and the paint dries too quickly; too windy and the bugs and dirt are blown on to the wet paint; too cold; too wet; too snowy….
5) Look at my years of training and experience!!! If I haven’t already managed to put you off then the best reason to get me to paint you furniture is because I know what I’m doing! I know which filler to use in to use in those holes. I have a huge box of screws, nails, knobs, hinges and brackets to replace the missing ones and fix the wobbly bits. I know what grade of sandpaper to start with, and when to move up a grade. I know which adhesive will stick that peeling laminate down, or when it makes sense to remove it altogether (and how). I know whether the dark wood / orange pine needs a water-based or an oil-based primer. I know when to use a brush or roller to apply the primer. I know how to apply the paint to avoid streaks, lumps, drips and patches. I know how many coats to apply and how long to leave it between coats. I know how to clean the brush and roller afterwards!! I know which type of paint to use and how to mix the perfect colour. I know whether to finish it off with a wax, glaze or varnish to protect it for as long as possible. And better than anything else I can draw a freehand butterfly beautifully in 30 seconds flat!!!
If I haven’t bored you half to tears then hopefully I’ll have convinced you NOT to try this at home, and let me loose on your furniture instead!! Also, I’ll probably get it done quicker that you will!!!!!